The Continuing Battle Against Morbid Obesity

I'm trying to lose weight again. I got really fat late last year and I'm slowly getting rid of some of it. My waist certainly feels thinner, and Dr. Wife has been kind enough to tell me she can see the difference.

But progress is hard to maintain, and I'm living proof. Getting thinner (and doing so in a healthy manner) doesn't always stick. And just knowing that has me worried, because while I feel like I'm doing well now, I don't know how long it will last.

One of my biggest problems, in this endeavor as well as in my life generally, is that I tend to focus on the negatives. I can't eat that food I like. I don't want to drag myself to the gym every night. I don't feel like I'll ever get where I want to be.

So I'm trying to focus on the good stuff and there is a lot of good stuff. Heart burn and acid reflux are totally gone, no matter how spicy the foods I eat. My clothes fit better (or are too big, in some cases). I have more energy. I sleep better. I wake up better. I feel a sense of accomplishment when I don't want to go to the gym and I do anyway.

Still, it's hard to stay positive, if only because the positives seem like they should be baseline and not some goal. And maybe they will be, if I can keep at it long enough. I just don't know if I'll stick with it this time. I worry that if I fail, I won't be able to convince myself to try again.

Yeah, this one isn't funny. I just realized that.

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