I'm trying to lose weight again. I got really fat late last year and I'm slowly getting rid of some of it. My waist certainly feels thinner, and Dr. Wife has been kind enough to tell me she can see the difference.
But progress is hard to maintain, and I'm living proof. Getting thinner (and doing so in a healthy manner) doesn't always stick. And just knowing that has me worried, because while I feel like I'm doing well now, I don't know how long it will last.
One of my biggest problems, in this endeavor as well as in my life generally, is that I tend to focus on the negatives. I can't eat that food I like. I don't want to drag myself to the gym every night. I don't feel like I'll ever get where I want to be.
So I'm trying to focus on the good stuff and there is a lot of good stuff. Heart burn and acid reflux are totally gone, no matter how spicy the foods I eat. My clothes fit better (or are too big, in some cases). I have more energy. I sleep better. I wake up better. I feel a sense of accomplishment when I don't want to go to the gym and I do anyway.
Still, it's hard to stay positive, if only because the positives seem like they should be baseline and not some goal. And maybe they will be, if I can keep at it long enough. I just don't know if I'll stick with it this time. I worry that if I fail, I won't be able to convince myself to try again.
Yeah, this one isn't funny. I just realized that.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Welcome to Hell
So, I guess all that good fortune that was coming my way was just to build me up for a big fall. The new column...Yay! The new horoscopes job (that the guy who offered it to me has not yet called to confirm, so it probably won't happen)...Yay!
But there is a...Boo! coming, of course. I might lose my job, my real job, the one that pays for everything, sometime this month. Not just me, of course. Other people might lose their jobs too, but I might be in a group -- composed of me+other people -- who don't have jobs anymore.
And that is a thing I would call stressful. I mean, I get stressed normally. But this seems to be a greater level of stressfulness than I was previously acquainted with. And that sucks.
The worst part is, all my friends who just went through this are people who, you know, just went through this. And because my wait until knowing my fate is a paltry week and a half and theirs was two months, I really can't bitch about it. But I keep going anyway!
Europe is, temporarily at least, off the table. As are any other expenditures that aren't completely necessary. Milk, I will still buy. Watches and televisions, not so much. Chicago is still happening, because it has already been paid for and it's a work thing anyway. But until I know for sure about my job, there will be no joy in Muddville, which is what people call my cubicle.
Seacrest ort.
But there is a...Boo! coming, of course. I might lose my job, my real job, the one that pays for everything, sometime this month. Not just me, of course. Other people might lose their jobs too, but I might be in a group -- composed of me+other people -- who don't have jobs anymore.
And that is a thing I would call stressful. I mean, I get stressed normally. But this seems to be a greater level of stressfulness than I was previously acquainted with. And that sucks.
The worst part is, all my friends who just went through this are people who, you know, just went through this. And because my wait until knowing my fate is a paltry week and a half and theirs was two months, I really can't bitch about it. But I keep going anyway!
Europe is, temporarily at least, off the table. As are any other expenditures that aren't completely necessary. Milk, I will still buy. Watches and televisions, not so much. Chicago is still happening, because it has already been paid for and it's a work thing anyway. But until I know for sure about my job, there will be no joy in Muddville, which is what people call my cubicle.
Seacrest ort.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
It has to come from somewhere, right?
So, I'm listening to NPR on the way to work this morning, because I guess I like to yell at my radio. Certainly there can't be any other reason, at least not these days, because that is what happens every morning when I listen to NPR.
This morning the talk was about changes to the military budget. A bunch of projects -- some in Oklahoma -- are being cut because, you know, we don't need them. A cannon we can't use? Check. Planes that aren't good at what need them for? Check. All of this at the behest of our President, Barack Obama.
Shockingly, some Republicans disagree. Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-Tarded) can't believe they would cancel plans for a cannon that is no good for fighting the insurgency, even though that's the only kind of war we're fighting anymore.
And the Sen. Mary Fallin (R-Dumbass) says, "We have to keep developing new military options, but NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF THE OLD OPTIONS." Which is why she is putting forth legislation for the military to train with catapults, daggers and maces.
Guess what "fiscally responsible conservatives," you say all the time how you'd like for us to be able to spend on luxuries like feeding the hungry, treating the infirm and teaching the ignorant (like that Jesus-feller is always preaching), but, you know, not at the expense of not building more weapons that we aren't using anymore.
It's not like ending the F-22 is it for air superiority. We're building the goddamn F-35, already. Oh, but this is about jobs, huh? Well, I guess you could have voted for the President's bill to create jobs, but then you'd be siding with the Democrats, and we can't have that.
God, I am getting pissed off all over again. I just can't believe this is the shit our politicians spout. "Lower taxes. Less spending. Except don't cut spending on a thing we're not using. Also, spend more on new weapons. But less spending. I'm sure we can cut something minor like education and we'll be fine."
Yup, because we're doing so fucking great right now.
This morning the talk was about changes to the military budget. A bunch of projects -- some in Oklahoma -- are being cut because, you know, we don't need them. A cannon we can't use? Check. Planes that aren't good at what need them for? Check. All of this at the behest of our President, Barack Obama.
Shockingly, some Republicans disagree. Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-Tarded) can't believe they would cancel plans for a cannon that is no good for fighting the insurgency, even though that's the only kind of war we're fighting anymore.
And the Sen. Mary Fallin (R-Dumbass) says, "We have to keep developing new military options, but NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF THE OLD OPTIONS." Which is why she is putting forth legislation for the military to train with catapults, daggers and maces.
Guess what "fiscally responsible conservatives," you say all the time how you'd like for us to be able to spend on luxuries like feeding the hungry, treating the infirm and teaching the ignorant (like that Jesus-feller is always preaching), but, you know, not at the expense of not building more weapons that we aren't using anymore.
It's not like ending the F-22 is it for air superiority. We're building the goddamn F-35, already. Oh, but this is about jobs, huh? Well, I guess you could have voted for the President's bill to create jobs, but then you'd be siding with the Democrats, and we can't have that.
God, I am getting pissed off all over again. I just can't believe this is the shit our politicians spout. "Lower taxes. Less spending. Except don't cut spending on a thing we're not using. Also, spend more on new weapons. But less spending. I'm sure we can cut something minor like education and we'll be fine."
Yup, because we're doing so fucking great right now.
Monday, April 06, 2009
Journalism is Messed Up
When I left my job at The Daily Newspaper For This Area, I kind of wondered if I would ever work for a newspaper ever again. After all, I was leaving for a reason. Lots of reasons. Some of them were money reasons and some of them were "this job finds a way to take up more of my time while making me increasingly miserable" things.
Anyway, I sold out. I took the money. I went to the dark side.
It didn't take long for me to start working at newspaper(s) again. In fact, I wonder if I write more for them now than I did when I worked there. It seems like every month, I have even more work from them. And the weirdest thing is, they don't mind paying me now all the money they didn't want to give me then.
Now newspapers all over the country are failing and I can't see why everybody is so shocked. I mean, outside of the newspaper industry, nobody seems to care about newspapers. Even the idea that all the people are online is absurd, though a lot of readers have moved in that direction. The truth is, lots of people just don't read the news or watch it on TV or give a shit about what is going on. At all.
Which is why I don't really write news. They have reporters for that. I write horoscopes (and maybe more horoscopes, if The Daily Newspaper For This Area agrees to my monetary demands) and feature articles about things they never would have let me write when I actually worked for a newspaper full-time.
I'm starting to think that the reason all these plum assignments go to people outside the industry -- people who sold out and left -- is because the people who are still at the papers think the people who left must be smarter than those who stayed.
It's ridiculous, of course. Plenty of smart people work at newspapers. Why they haven't left, I don't know. I'm sure some people still suffer from "integrity" and "scruples." But when it all comes crashing down, they'll find new and better jobs, the kinds with set hours and responsibilities. And I will have to find a new way to pad my paycheck than writing horoscopes and stories about eating varmints.
*This post was written in response to Dr. Wife complaining that I haven't updated my blog. So nyeah.
Anyway, I sold out. I took the money. I went to the dark side.
It didn't take long for me to start working at newspaper(s) again. In fact, I wonder if I write more for them now than I did when I worked there. It seems like every month, I have even more work from them. And the weirdest thing is, they don't mind paying me now all the money they didn't want to give me then.
Now newspapers all over the country are failing and I can't see why everybody is so shocked. I mean, outside of the newspaper industry, nobody seems to care about newspapers. Even the idea that all the people are online is absurd, though a lot of readers have moved in that direction. The truth is, lots of people just don't read the news or watch it on TV or give a shit about what is going on. At all.
Which is why I don't really write news. They have reporters for that. I write horoscopes (and maybe more horoscopes, if The Daily Newspaper For This Area agrees to my monetary demands) and feature articles about things they never would have let me write when I actually worked for a newspaper full-time.
I'm starting to think that the reason all these plum assignments go to people outside the industry -- people who sold out and left -- is because the people who are still at the papers think the people who left must be smarter than those who stayed.
It's ridiculous, of course. Plenty of smart people work at newspapers. Why they haven't left, I don't know. I'm sure some people still suffer from "integrity" and "scruples." But when it all comes crashing down, they'll find new and better jobs, the kinds with set hours and responsibilities. And I will have to find a new way to pad my paycheck than writing horoscopes and stories about eating varmints.
*This post was written in response to Dr. Wife complaining that I haven't updated my blog. So nyeah.
Monday, February 23, 2009
The Nerd-pocalypse Approaches
I didn't order any comics last month. That was the first time in...years, I guess. Faithfully, every month prior, I would dig through the Previews catalog and figure out what I wanted and order.
It was an expensive habit and one, more and more, that disappointed.
Well, I went on the site where I usually placed my order the other day to see what was still coming. (Comics are ordered a full two months in advance, you see.) And that's when I realized how close the end really was.
Comic books have a tendency to come out late -- especially big event comics -- but the list of what's on the way has shrunk a lot. I have three issues of Amazing Spider-Man (which publishes three times a month) remaining and the latest book in the Scott Pilgrim series (which I recommend for anyone).
I suppose there will be some comics that don't ship by the end of the month -- some have been on there a lot longer than others -- and they'll come later on. The death-rattle of my addiction, I guess.
But I wonder if I'll really miss it that much. They are just stories, after all, and some of them suck pretty bad. But some of them are great and I know I'll be back, months after the fact, to pick up some trades or hardcover collections.
It just seems weird, to me, if no one else, that my last big box of comics will be here in a week or so. What kind of geek will I be without comics? A TV geek? That seems more likely than the computer geek (which requires some degree of learning) or a lit geek (ditto) or a movie geek (who needs time to go see movies).
Maybe I'm already a food geek. I guess that'll have to do.
It was an expensive habit and one, more and more, that disappointed.
Well, I went on the site where I usually placed my order the other day to see what was still coming. (Comics are ordered a full two months in advance, you see.) And that's when I realized how close the end really was.
Comic books have a tendency to come out late -- especially big event comics -- but the list of what's on the way has shrunk a lot. I have three issues of Amazing Spider-Man (which publishes three times a month) remaining and the latest book in the Scott Pilgrim series (which I recommend for anyone).
I suppose there will be some comics that don't ship by the end of the month -- some have been on there a lot longer than others -- and they'll come later on. The death-rattle of my addiction, I guess.
But I wonder if I'll really miss it that much. They are just stories, after all, and some of them suck pretty bad. But some of them are great and I know I'll be back, months after the fact, to pick up some trades or hardcover collections.
It just seems weird, to me, if no one else, that my last big box of comics will be here in a week or so. What kind of geek will I be without comics? A TV geek? That seems more likely than the computer geek (which requires some degree of learning) or a lit geek (ditto) or a movie geek (who needs time to go see movies).
Maybe I'm already a food geek. I guess that'll have to do.
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