Keep it to yourselves, racists.

Here's the thing: I don't mind buying a hamburger from a racist. If those are your beliefs, I think you're dead wrong, but I guess you have a right to be totally, totally incorrect about that.

That said, restaurant owners, I don't want to know if you're a racist. Will I buy a burger from you? Yes. Will I go out of my way to eat at your establishment when there are other burger joints who can keep it to themselves? No.

I went into Little Mike's Hamburgers with for lunch with Dr. Wife and found it the equivalent of walking into an old racist's e-mail account. I was going to say my Dad's e-mail, but he's not actually racist, or capable of using e-mail.

Regardless, past the annoying EIGHT PAGES of "Why it's good to be a Sooner" somebody printed out and taped to the wall, there were "jokes" about Muslims and Democrats and shit like that. You know, the kind of thing your relative you don't really get along with that well might forward to you if they're completely ignorant of your tolerance toward different religions, nationalities and political views.

It was a good burger. No doubt. But I will drive a few miles farther to the Charcoal Oven next time or cross the street to go to Johnnie's or buy the beef and cook my own damn burger before I go in there again. Why? Because shut the fuck up and make me a burger, that's why.

People don't like Hollywood stars espousing their political beliefs? Fine. Don't go see their movies, don't buy the issue of People with them on the cover, tell people you think they're jackasses. But you don't get to bitch and moan about Susan Sarandon or Sean Penn and then put up a bunch of racist crap and expect to get away with it.

They have a broader audience, which means more people can get pissed at them. As for me, I'm pissed at the jackasses at Little Mike's Hamburgers, because I don't need to know that you hate "ragheads" (stay classy, America!) when I want a burger. I just want a burger and if you want me to buy it from you, keep your retarded thoughts in your retarded head. Since you can't, I'm sure I can find someone who can keep their trap shut and make my burger just as well.