I like booze

I am not a heavy drinker. I do not drink alone, or, at least, very rarely do I drink alone. I like wine. I like beer. If I happen to have the ingredients handy, I like a cocktail on occassion.

But if my employer handed down some sort of no-drinking mandate, I wouldn't be happy about it, but I wouldn't be crushed, either. I might keep my eyes open for a job where they don't mind if you have a glass of Petite Syrah with dinner, off the clock, but I'd sure as hell stop drinking until I had that other job.

So what I can't figure out is how people with much more highly paid jobs than the one I hold can't stop doing illegal drugs. Travis Henry, a pretty decent runningback, is out of a year after being caught (AGAIN!) with marijuana. Matt Jones is in trouble for snorting cocaine in a car in Fayetteville.

In Henry's case, I mean, he knows they test for shit, because he knows he's been caught before. So how do you not go, "I love weed, but for the sake of making enough money to retire and smoke all the pot I want later, I guess I'll put my bong down for a couple of years."

How is quitting pot harder than working out EVERY DAY?

And Matt Jones? That guy had millions from his contract and he's snorting coke in a car. Not that he should be inhaling drugs to begin with, but at least take it inside. Put a wall or three between you and the cops and, guess what?, they can't see you doing the drugs. What a dipshit.

Maybe they're legitimately hooked (though I didn't think marijuana was so habit-forming), but that's just so stupid to not get the help you need to quit in order to continue a very lucrative career. When it's over and nobody's testing you anymore? Go to town. But as long as you're peeing in a cup, maybe lay off the felony-level narcotics.

Now, if my boss told me I couldn't read comics anymore? I guess I'd have to figure out a way around the system. I have friends who don't read comics. Maybe they can pee in a cup for me.