It's all downhill from here.

My wife is one of those weird ones who likes to "take pictures" and "display them around the house." What purpose this serves, I do not know.

The only one I can think of is if we're kidnapped and the police come to the house and the kidnapper is here but he pretends he lives here and then the cop would notice, "Hey, he's not in any of the pictures!" and arrest him and save us. But, after watching lots of movies where people pretend to live places, it seems no one ever gets called on that shit.

The (clearly unintended) effect of the pictures is reminding me of days gone by. And that's when it finally hit me:

I'm never going to look young again.

Here I am, dragging around an extra 50 pounds, wearing reading glasses all the goddamn time, and all I see around me are pictures the wife took of my in college or just after and who the hell is that somewhat thin, kind-of-recognizable, not-too-bad-looking dude?

Well, it doesn't matter who he is, because he'll never be seen around these parts again. As They Might Be Giants pointed out, you're older than you've ever been and now you're even older and now you're even older and now you're even older.

And now, you're older still.

Fuck.